Spider-Man: Homecoming review!

You all knew this would happen. First, not only did they let my all-time favorite Marvel character appear in Captain America: Civil War, they even brought in InsomniacGames to make a Spider-Man video game. And considering that InsomniacGames are one of my all-time favorite game developers, it's basically a match made in heaven. But today, we're not talking about video games for once, but rather, a movie!



Spider-Man: Homecoming. Now for those of you who have somehow never heard of Spider-Man (the character), he is easily one of the most well-known and beloved characters in modern fiction, let alone the Marvel mythos. Long story short, the brilliant but lazy teen genius Peter Parker was given a variety of spider-themed super powers such as shooting webs out of his wrists and clinging to walls/ceilings when he was bitten by a radioactive spider during a high school field trip, and initially used these powers to make money as an entertainer, but when his selfish ambitions get his beloved Uncle Ben killed by a panicked robber, Spider-Man learns the hard way that with Great Power comes Great Responsibility. So he dons a red-and-blue suit, becomes a crime-fighter, and repeatedly saves New York City (sometimes the world) from the likes of homicidal goblins, rhino people, mad scientists, and a evil alien clone of himself at regular intervals. Oh, and Spidey is constantly struggling to balance his superhero activities with his everyday life, which is just as difficult as you might expect from literally the only member of the Avengers that bothers with a secret identity. I kid you not, Spider-Man is the only member of the Avengers that has not once ever made his identity public. Spidey became a hit almost as soon as he made his debut in 1962 thanks to being extremely relatable and being simply adorable (or, depending on who you ask, insanely attractive). As such, he became a crucial hero to many childhoods and is considered to be a positive role model to boys and girls everywhere to this very day.



But considering we had an unfathomable amount of media (movies, comics, cartoons, etc) covering his origins, Spider-Man: Homecoming completely skips the origin story in favor of a Spider-Man ready and raring to go the moment the movie starts. Which is a good thing, because of, well, you know, the whole "Spider-Man is the most well-known character in modern fiction right behind Godzilla and Darth Vader" thing. Reexplaining Spidey's origins for the umpteenth time would not only be repetitive but a waste of time/money for the studio. Says the guy who did a summarized version of Spidey's origins 15 seconds ago.



Spider-Man: Homecoming takes place shortly after the events of Captain America: Civil War (for those not in the know, every Marvel movie ever made takes place in the same world/timeline) and focuses on Peter Parker's high school life in a quiet corner in Queens. That's right. Queens. So no web-swinging hundreds of feet in the air for you! There's nothing to web-swing on in Queens! And this movie is fully aware of this.



Anyway, A large portion of the plot revolves around Spidey trying to prove himself worthy of bearing the title of Avenger while going toe-to-talon with a black arms dealer known as the Vulture, while also juggling his civilian life. All while being accompanied by Ned, the only person who knows Peter's secret identity (unless you count Mary Jane Watson, Spidey's love interest from the comics and the original trilogy, but she isn't in this movie), and his most loyal friend.



While I like the movie's story for the most part, something I loathe is the unforgivable idiocy on Tony Stark/Iron Man's part. Did I forget to mention that IRON MAN is in this movie? Because he is, but here he makes the unfathomably terrible decision to not only ignore/dismiss Spidey, he also leaves him out of the loop 98% of the time, and MILD SPOILER ALERT! one of the villain's most destructive rampage could have been prevented had Iron Man actually tell Spidey what was going on. The only reason they had Mr. Stark do this is to fulfill the age-old "Not Now, Kiddo" trope (where an older/more experienced character ignores the younger character even if the younger character knows something that could turn the tides in the heroes' favor). Do you realize how annoying that trope is for me? I've seen it used and abused for most of my life, but this instance is especially frustrating because not only has Spider-Man proven himself competent back in Civil War (he went one-on-one with Captain America, for crying out loud), but it also brings up a curious conundrum. If Iron Man didn't trust Spidey enough to handle major Avenger-y things like oh I don't know, fighting off Captain America and his splinter group of rogue Avengers, why did he even bother recruiting Spider-Man in the first place? The answer to this is because the writers couldn't think of any way to advance the plot without resorting to an age-old cliche. Don't get me wrong, I like Iron Man, but sometimes, Marvel makes some questionable choices that make you go "WHY!?" *cough cough* Captain America kissing the niece of his dead girlfriend *cough cough*



Anyway, on a more positive note, this film is much funnier than all of the previous films combined. Mostly because there are way too many moments in the older movies that are meant to be serious, but thanks to awkward line delivery or bizarre facial expressions made the previous movies a lot goofier than intended. This movie is a straight up comedy, due to putting more of an emphasis on Spidey being a "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man". Chief among these jokes include Peter and Ned building a LEGO Death Star, Spidey trying to master the advanced settings in his suit, and basically anything that comes out of antisocial smart-aleck Michelle. That said, there were a few jokes that I feel kind of fell flat on their metaphorical faces, such as the cringe-inducingly inappropriate nickname Flash the High-School bully comes up for Peter, which comes across as Marvel trying to appeal to the older, more mature crowd. Why am I making a big deal out of inappropriate humor? First of all, this is a Spider-man movie, and Spider-Man is one of my favorite anythings ever when I was a kid and is still one of my favorite Marvel characters, so including humor not meant for children is kind of like punching my nostalgia in the face. Maybe I'm just being a prude, but it also doesn't help that those kind of jokes are not even remotely funny to me, if anything they're more annoying than anything else. Second of all, the main difference between DC Comics and Marvel, is that DC has always had the gall to go to dark, decidedly family-UNfriendly places, while Marvel is where the True Believers hang. *Excelsior!



 But you wanna know what the best part of this whole movie was? Micheal Keaton as the Vulture. Marvel normally have kind of lame villains that are just there to serve as the good guys' punching bag. Vulture breaks that trend thanks to A) being played by Micheal Keaton, who does a phenomenal performance here B) having a visually impressive design. If you read the old-school Spider-Man comics, Vulture had a slightly cheesey design, being in a (VERY) bright green jumpsuit covered in feathers. Here, the Vulture is more akin to Sam Raimi's version of the Green Goblin, and sports a similar fighting style (only without the Jack-o-lantern bombs). And C) He's played by Micheal Keaton. In other words, this movie is, if you think about it, Spider-Man vs Bat-Man.



As for the rest of the cast, we have Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man, who always does a good job playing the charismatic leader of the Avengers (or what's left of the Avengers), but as previously stated, the story writers make him do some moronic things but I'm going to blame the writers, not the actor. We also have Tom Holland as Spider-Man/Peter Parker, the star of the show. Tom Holland does a surprisingly good job as everyone's favorite web-slinger, and I dare say Tom Holland is better than Toby Maguire, which is high praise, because let's face it, Toby Maguire did a fantastic job in the role during his time. Only Tom Holland beats him out by A) portraying Peter in a more faithful-to-the-source-material way (he's less of hard-working everyman and more of a lovable nerd), and B) there's no Emo Dance in this movie. For better or for worse. I know some people will never let Toby Maguire live down the sheer corniness of the infamous Emo Dance We also have Zendaya as Michelle, a minor supporting character that has some of the funniest lines in the movie due to her snarky attitude, and Jacob Batalon (how is it this guy has the most epic sounding last name!? It's like "Battle" and "Talon" put together!) as Ned, who wins the official "Spencer's Day Best Sidekick of the Year 2017" award. Only now do I realize how silly and non-indicative the title of my blog sounds. But I've called this blog "Spencer's Day" since I was 11 years old, so it's too late to change it. Anyway, we also have Marisa Tomei as Peter Parker's Aunt May, and basically the entire thought process that went into her character was, "Let's cut Aunt May's canonical age in half so she isn't elderly anymore". And last but not least we have Laura Harrier playing Liz, Spidey's love interest in this movie. Her performance was alright. Not bad. But considering I've never heard of her prior to looking the cast for this movie, her performance wasn't like "Who is this woman and why is she such a good actress!?", but more like "Yeah, that was pretty good, looking forward to what you do next.". Does that make any sense?



Anyways, as for the presentation, the set pieces aren't as grand or exotic when compared to previous Marvel movies, although that is deliberate. Remember when I said that this movie emphasizes Peter's status as a "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man"? Well that's because the scale of this movie is just that. A Neighborhood. Spidey rarely leaves his quiet corner of Queens, and the two times he does are only at most 5 minutes long. Heck, even the villain's evil plans are smaller in scope than the Marvel norm. Instead of being a reality-breaking tyrant trying to devour the universe like Thanos, or a heartless machine trying to destroy humanity and replace it with machines like Ultron, the Vulture is literally just a black market dealer trying to make some money. And even then, his motivation doesn't come down to simple greed. I won't spoil it here, but his motivation is part of the reason why the Vulture is one of Marvel's better villains. The visual effects are also nice. Funnily enough, before watching the movie I've heard some folks say that the visuals are unbearably cheesy, but, I don't have a problem with them. But hey, agree to disagree. The music in this film is frankly forgettable, but I'll give this movie a slide because quite frankly, the only times I expect decent music from a movie is if the movie is a musical.



Overall, I give Spider-Man: Homecoming an 8/10. While this movie is a welcome change of pace from most of Marvel's other works and good for a few laughs, I feel the movie could have been a lot better if it didn't have such inappropriate humor and a more creative way of advancing the plot than what wound up in the final version of Spider-Man: Homecoming.

P.S. Is it sad that I like the cartoons more than the movies? Ultimate Spider-Man was just so over-the-top that it was basically an anime. If you haven't watched Ultimate Spider-Man, go watch it like right now. It's really good.

*-Yes. I just used Stan Lee's signature catchphrase on my blog.

Minecraft Story Mode Season 2: Jailhouse Block review!

Is there such a thing as too much Minecraft Story Mode? Telltale doesn't think so, since they released episode three of Season 2 a lot quicker than most people were expecting But now comes my little predicament. At this point, it's safe to say we'll be covering inevitable spoilers. My review, as always, will keep spoilers to a minimum, but if you do care about spoilers, rest assured that this review will not contain spoilers for this episode in particular, but it's going to be difficult to not spoil previous episodes, so if you haven't played Minecraft Story Mode Season 2 and have been thinking about getting it, go for the gold.



This episode of the point-and-click BLOCK-busting (geddit?) adventure, titled Jailhouse Block, picks up right where the previous episode left off. After revealing his true identity, the Admin (who will be your villain for this season) sends the main hero Jesse and his/her Friends to a prison known as the Sunshine Institute, which is literally at the bottom of the world (wouldn't be the center of the world though? #StoryModeLogic) filled with people who have opposed the Admin in the past... And Bob Ross.



The entire episode is spent trying to escape this prison, and before anyone puts on the Captain Obvious cap and say "But it's Minecraft! They can just punch/mine their way to freedom!" They can't. Not only is the entire prison inside the center of a labyrinth made of Obsidian, which in the Minecraft universe can only be destroyed by a Diamond Pickaxe (or better, if you take fan made mods into account since literally every fan made mod adds something better than Diamond), but the entire facility has permanent Mining Fatigue (a kind of spell that makes blocks harder to destroy) AND the ground is made of Bedrock, which is completely indestructible. Something that I think is kind of a missed opportunity is how despite the fact that Minecraft Story Mode is a game where your moral choices have a butterfly effect and permanently alter the story, you don't have any choice in your escape plan. I mean, how you pull it off is up to you, but it stays largely the same regardless of what kind of playthrough you're doing.



But all in all, the story was good. It had decent pacing, and seeing a Minecraft-ized prison is oddly humorous. This prison here is also surprisingly sadistic, to say the least. In one cell block, the inmates are literally forced to fight over a small handful of mushrooms or risk starving starve to death. In another, the inmates are have no choice but to kill (and EAT!!!) endless hordes of zombies every few minutes. That second one is definitely disturbing both in the context of the Minecraft universe and out. Seriously, it's like something out of a psychological horror film, but cleverly disguised as a kids' game.



The gameplay here is again, near identical to that of the previous episodes. Or literally any game made by TellTale. It's divided into three segments, the first and most frequently used of the three are interactive cutscenes where you can pick and choose what Jesse says/does during cutscenes. They're nice for immersion, though on subsequent playthroughs some of the choices's consequences felt anticlimactic. The most egregious example is when MILD SPOILER ALERT! Jesse's adorable secretary Radar (aka YURI LOWENTHAL!!!!) is being tortured as leverage to convince Jesse to join the "Dark Side" so to speak. On my first playthrough I was under the impression that Radar would die if you chose not to comply, and being the nice guy that I am, I decided to comply so that Radar wouldn't die. Then I did a second playthrough and out of curiosity I decided not to comply, and turns out Radar survives the torture no matter what, but his glasses will remain broken for the rest of the season (which is kind of mundane given he was being tortured). One of my biggest pet peeves with Story Mode is how some choices are drastic, but others have near-identical outcomes. It kind of kills the immersion a little when your choices don't have as much of an impact. Then again, it's entirely possible that these seemingly miniscule choices do have more pronounced consequences once Episodes 4 and 5 are released. Plus, I can only imagine the nightmares TellTale has when scripting possible outcomes.



The other two segments I found more enjoyable this time around. The action sequences, while chock full of Quick Time Events, are incredibly fun to watch. Performing well at the action sequences results in Jesse being as acrobatic as a Matrix character with swordplay rivaling that of a Jedi Knight. That is very high praise in case you don't speak nerd. It's also true with the previous two episodes, but I never brought it up until now. It's definitely a step up from when Jesse was a clumsy novice back in Season 1 and really shows that TellTale has been sure to keep him/her in top shape. I also liked the one-vs-one (sometimes one-vs-three) sword duels where you control Jesse directly, especially a climatic duel that I won't spoil here.


Cool Minecrafters don't look at explosions

And finally, the tried'n'true point-and-click adventure format that makes up the last segment of the gameplay. During these segments, Jesse is free to roam around as s/he pleases, click on objects to examine/interact with them, solve puzzles, and talk to NPC's. New to this season however is the ability to freely build whatever you desire within certain spaces, and some objectives require you to build SOMETHING. These segments are the rarest of them all (in this episode they are used literally three times total) but are still enjoyable. I know some folks despise them due to being comparatively "boring", but they break up the pace rather fluidly and give you, the player, a breather.



Also, this episode has some plot revelations that are intriguing to say the least. The Admin, as a villain, is still a fantastic villain, thanks to his charmingly flamboyant personality and some amazing voice-work. My only real concern with the Admin is at the present moment, he seems a little too powerful. I mean, yeah, he's the closest thing the Minecraft universe has to a god. But seriously, he can shape-shift, warp reality, use telekinesis, has an immunity to most weapons, and can build entire structures in a fraction of a second (one power that every Minecraft player wished they had). In other words, he is by far the most powerful villain Jesse and Friends have faced. This is similar to a problem that the Pokemon franchise as well as the Dragon Ball franchise have, they keep trying to make their villains grander and more powerful than the previous one. At least Pokemon solved their problem by having the most recent villains (Team Skull!) be significantly less imposing than their predecessors to "reset" the cycle. In the event we get a season 3, or heck, an Adventure Pass (Adventure Passes are things TellTale makes for their particularly successful games that extends the season by an additional three episodes), the only way for them to continue is to "reset" the cycle as well. My point is, it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to make a Story Mode villain as good as the Admin.



And of course, I have to talk about the moment towards the final act of this episode. If you don't want spoilers, skip on ahead. Basically, later on in this episode, you will be forced to make a sadistic choice of impeccable scale. Without ruining it too much, I can say that this choice alone is part of why I consider this episode to be better than the previous episode. It literally made me pause the game, put my controller down, think real hard about the decision, make the decision after ten minutes of mentally battling myself, feel incredibly guilty about it afterwards, play through the game on my backup save file, make the opposite choice, and STILL feel guilty about it. You know how I griped about them giving Radar Plot Armor during the torture scene? This decision has the kind of depth I wanted from the torture scene. It's the kind of choice that will have very dramatic consequences, and I love it when games make choices actually matter. Basically, that choice is a "story altering" decision done right.



As for the presentation, the artstyle is still the same old "world is made out of cubes" aesthetic that the original Minecraft became famous for. The set-pieces are nice, as the Sunshine Institute looks like a stereotypical maximum security prison but in Minecraft form. But other than that, it's fairly average. The music is slower and more atmospheric than the norm, which fits the whole, "trapped at the bottom/center of the world in a nigh-inescapable prison" motif. It's also heavy on the percussions, now that I'm thinking about it.


Giiiiiiii!!!!!!!

This episode might be my favorite of this season so far, thanks to the prison motif and having a gut-wrenching choice towards the end, but it has yet to top Episode 5 of Season 1, which remains to this day my favorite thanks to not only canonizing the popular fan-made Minecraft minigame/self-imposed challenge known as Skyblock (where a group of Minecraft players are trapped on a floating island and have to micromanage limited resources while completing as many tasks given to them as humanly possible) but also being by far the most self-contained episode without being a pointless filler episode (looking at you, Episode 8). I give this episode a 9/10.

P.S. Before you ask, yes, Bob Ross is actually in this episode. Sort of. There's an NPC called Rob that looks like a Minecraft-ized version of Bob Ross.