Oh hey, it's April First again. You know what that means! Descend into unadulterated paranoia as you lose the ability to tell the difference between April Fool's and the rest of the universe. Well worry not, dear Internet stranger, for there is one consistency of this sadistic holiday. And that is me, telling you what your favorite video games say about YOU. As before, all of the descriptions are for comedy and are not to be taken seriously under any circumstance. With that being said, let's begin, shall we?
Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity; You came for the expanded lore and backstory for Breath of the Wild, and stayed for the inherent power fantasy of cutting down thousands of enemies as your favorite Legend of Zelda characters.
Star Wars: the Old Republic; You always wanted to be a Jedi Knight when you grew up. This game's the closest thing you're gonna get. Or you like playing the classes with no Force powers (Trooper, Bounty Hunter, etc.), just to prove that they can be just as cool as the Jedi. That's what I do.
Stellaris; Either you want to take over the galaxy using the power of FRIENDSHIP, or you want to take over the galaxy with power of REALLY BIG GUNS. No in between.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker; You use this game to test out builds and character concepts for your Dungeons & Dragons campaigns. Bonus points if you actually play Pathfinder Tabletop.
Bendy & the Ink Machine; The Creator lied to you. Also, your favorite food is probably Bacon Soup.
deltarune; You fell in love with UNDERTALE back when that game released, and this is as close as we're gonna get to an UNDERTALE sequel. Also, Lancer is your spirit animal.
No Man's Sky; You always wanted to be an astronaut when you grew up. If only it didn't take three years of constant updates for the game to live up to the space explorer power fantasy, but better late than never, eh?
Cuphead; You're nostalgic for rubber-hose animation. Chances are you will get unreasonably angry if people compare it to Dark Souls just because both games are well-known for their challenging difficulty.
Dauntless; You didn't have enough money to buy a new Monster Hunter game so you're using this Free-to-Play game as a substitute.
Among Us; This game is the reason why you have trust issues. You also (understandably) hate people who use out-of-game communication (like texting or Discord) to reveal the killer's identity before the crewmates can figure it out themselves.
Immortals: Fenyx Rising; You prefer the Greek Mythology flavored version of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
Starbound; "Floran approvesss of your choice in video gamesss, and alssso approvesss of ssstabbing filthy meatbagsss." - A Starbound fan trying to sound like a Floran, probably.
Star Trek Online; You're a Trekkie. …What more do you want me to say? This game is literally a Star Trek fan's paradise. So long as you ignore the price tag on the more exotic ships.
Little Nightmares 2; You're not entirely sure what's going on (to be honest, neither am I). But by golly, you will find the true meaning of this spooky game if it's the last thing you'll do. Even if that means looking up fan theories on Reddit! … So in other words you're the Five Nights at Freddy's fan's distant relative.
Ark: Survival Evolved; This game finally lets you live your childhood dream of riding dinosaurs into battle like a gun-slinging action hero.
Darkest Dungeon; "Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer." -A Darkest Dungeon fan using an actual quote from the Narrator that sums up the entire game in a nutshell, probably.
Monster Hunter Rise; Be honest, you can't bring yourself to go back to the older Monster Hunter games because this game's increased mobility and speed makes hunting monsters so much more enjoyable. Oh, and you probably love Japanese mythology and culture, considering this game is one big love letter to it.
Raid: Shadow Legends; …You actually like this game? You were sponsored by the devs to promote it, weren't you?
Any LEGO video game; You played these games as a kid and now plan to make your hypothetical future children play these games with you, so you can relive the joy and wonder of your own childhood.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney; You feel the need to yell "OBJECTION!!!" at the top of your lungs when you disagree with people. You also have a hard time explaining the appeal of a game where you play as a lawyer to your friends.
