Surprise! Minecraft Story Mode Episode 7: Access Denied Review!

Before I begin my review of Minecraft Story Mode, I have a public announcement to make. Episode 5 did this as well, but when you buy Episode 7 on the PS3 version, it sometimes causes a game-breaking glitch to occur where it "locks" you into the character select screen. By that I mean, any save file you have will forget what version of Jesse you picked and will make you pick again, but when you pick, instead of continuing to the actual game, just dumps you back at the character select screen. A glitch that big should have been noticed but apparently I am the only person to experience this glitch. Do not worry if it DOES happen to you, since all you have to do is wait a day or two and it will go back to normal. Although it might do the same thing again in the near future. Thank you for reading my public service announcement since we cannot let a mistake on Telltale's end ruin our fun, can we? Now onto the actual review.



So what's so special about Minecraft Story Mode? It's the second-to-last episode in the series. That's right. Episode 8 will be the Big Finale of Minecraft Story Mode as a whole... Unless Telltale makes a "Minecraft Story Mode: Season 2" or something.


Introducing GlaDOS- Oops I mean- PAMA!!!

The premise of Episode 7 is that since the White Pumpkin fiasco, Jesse and friends have been exploring every portal in the portal hall haphazardly. Which brings me to something I like about this episode. It's opening, while lacking the awesome music of Episode 3, and the incredible action of Episode 6, makes up for it by being the funniest. From the gang (not mobster gang, TEAM GANG!!!) getting chased by bats, Ivor being pushed from one portal to the next by a geyser, to Lukas' pants getting caught on fire, this opening is really funny.

Speaking of previous episodes, about 3/4's into the Episode Jesse has to clear a path with some TNT. What's so special about that scene? The fact they were playing the Episode 3 Opening theme - my favorite song in the whole series - during the whole thing. Yay for bringing back the best song in the series!


JESSE IS NOW A *VR TROOPER!!!

Anyway, back to the swing of things. After going through a dozen portals, Petra gets ticked off due to always landing in the wrong portal (remember, the end game goal is to find Jesse and Friends' home world). Which leads to something worth mentioning; The teams' increasing frustration with each other. We saw a glimpse of it back in Episode 6 when Petra had a massive rage-quit (being locked in a spooky mansion with a masked serial killer and 7 or so possible suspects - all of whom are clearly paranoid and stir crazy - will do that to a mercenary-turned-world-saving-hero). Although, I think Petra has a point with this line. Quote: "Maybe I am [going to go through the portal]. Maybe I'm just sick and tired of Jesse getting to call the shots. Every. Single! TIME!". I know Jesse is the team leader, but I swear everyone makes jokes about how everyone listens to Jesse no matter what with complete obedience.

After chasing after a very cheesed-off Petra (or going through her portal of choice to appease her, based on your actions), Jesse and friends find themselves in what I have nicknamed **Mad Max land. Even though it's not actually related to Mad Max at all, it reminds me of it. A lot. Just replace "Nuclear Apocalypse" with "Evil Computer taking over the planet" and they are basically the same thing.

This is where we meet two new characters. PAMA, a psychotic computer obsessed with making everything (and everyone) "useful". And Harper, who built PAMA in the first place. And I got to say, PAMA is a surprisingly creepy villain. Or maybe it's because he reminds me of GlaDOS from Portal. Only, GlaDOS is worse because while PAMA brainwashes and "possesses" people, GlaDOS experiments on her prisoners, and then kills them once they become useless. All while delivering some of the most hilarious insults in the history of video games (GlaDOS: "I was studying sharks for an upcoming test. Can you guess what kills everyone, even though they are only trying to help them? Did you guess 'sharks?' If you did, you're wrong. Only YOU can be that pointlessly cruel.").

Now what do I think about this episode? Well the music is good because they brought back my favorite song (as well as the "Armor Select" music from episode 4). Game still looks Minecraft-y. Voice acting is still good and whoever (can't remember the name of the actress off the top of my head) voiced Harper not only did a good job, but also sounds vaguely familiar...

So what did I not like about this episode? Well, there was that game-breaking glitch I mentioned. Because of said glitch I had to wait a full day before I could play the game. Aside from that, there is nothing immediately wrong about this episode that comes to mind. Is it the best episode in the series? No. It's far from the worst. So I give a 7/10.

*- VR Troopers is a very old TV show I watched when I was younger through the power of Netflix. If you knew what VR Troopers was before reading this, then congrats!

**Mad Max is a post-apocalyptic movie franchise. Last time I checked, it was rated "R" because of violence. Why do I, a 16-year-old gamer, know what Mad Max is? Me and my step-dad were having a conversation about the Apocalypse, which then spiraled into a conversation about Mad Max, which then spiraled into a conversation about a Mad Max video game I read about in my GameInformer magazine. The More You Know! *twinkle*