What your Favorite Pokemon says about YOU! (part 8)

...Wow. I have devoted EIGHT(!) whole posts to what was supposed to be an April Fool's joke. But when you bite off more than you can chew, you spit the food out, tear it in half, and keep eating it for all it's worth. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, this time we're doing is Generation 8. And after this, the "Favorite Pokemon" saga will close... Until Game Freak make more Pokemon. In which case I'll just have to keep making these kinds of posts as long as there are Pokemon to cover.

Generation 8 is the current Generation of Pokemon, but it might be the most controversial, at least among fans. Game Freak's decision to retire a good chunk of the older Pokemon in Pokemon Sword & Shield did not sit well with many people, between completionists trying to 100% the series, people who develop an emotional attachment to one specific Pokemon and keep transferring them into every new game, and people who just like seeing what the older Pokemon look like in HD. The reason Game Freak gave for this purge was to increase the quality of the animations and art. This I feel is a half-truth. It is true that the brand new animations and environments look amazing (the Three Starters' animations being the standout), it is painfully obvious that the older Pokemon who did make it in were reusing old animations. Honestly, while it is a nice looking game, parts of it can feel dated and archaic. I have no opinion on the anime of this Generation, mostly by virtue of there not being one available outside of Japan yet.

Generation 8 does have redeeming qualities. I actually like a lot of the new Pokemon here. And they brought back Alolan Variants, now re-branded Galarian Variants to fit the setting better. On top of that, several Pokemon, old and new alike, were given special forms known as Gigantamax mode, where the Pokemon grows to the size of a multi-story building and transforms (Pikachu's Gigantamax form is pictured above). I guess I'll cover them too, because a lot of them actually look amazing. And, to sweeten the deal and to put emphasis on this being the alleged finale of the "Favorite Pokemon" series, I'll also cover some Pokemon that I forgot to in previous posts, such as the Starter Pokemon's final forms. Not all Pokemon will be covered, but Pokemon related to each other will share a description. All of the following descriptions are meant to be comedic and harmless, and no way intended to offend anybody. Without further delay, here is the final chapter of What your Favorite Pokemon says about YOU! (also warning, because of the recency of the Generation, some Pokemon don't have nice looking artwork, so I have no choice but to use in-game screenshots as well as art, so pardon the changing art style)

Grookey: You're a little Funky Monkey. You also are a big fan of the Beatles.

Rillaboom: Your favorite Disney movie is Tarzan. You also have played every single Donkey Kong Country game.

Scorbunny: Your favorite movie is Alice in Wonderland, and you like watching professional soccer.

Cinderace: Your favorite movie is Watership Down, but you have no idea how to introduce that movie to your kids without traumatizing them. You also play soccer, but hate participation trophies (to be honest, I hate them too).

Sobble: You're a sensitive soul, emphatic to the blight of others. If other people feel sad, you suddenly feel sad with them. You also like James Bond movies.

Inteleon: You're a suave, charismatic charmer who prefers his martinis shaken, not stirred. Also, Toffee from Star Vs the Forces of Evil is your Spirit Animal. (holy crab-cakes, how have I gone through 817 different Pokemon without once making a Spirit Animal joke?)

Skwovent family: You're more than a little squirrel-y.

Corviknight family: You are the darkness. You are the night. You. ARE. BATMAN!!! ...'s biggest fan.

Orbeetle family: You heard some people liked Ledian. You're here to rock their worlds with a lady-bug that's actually awesome. 

Nickit family: *singing* You and your buddies be walking through the forest, laughing at what the others each got to say. Reminiscing 'bout this an' that an' havin' such a good time, Ooh-dee-lally, Ooh-dee-lally, golly what a day!

Gossifleur family: You prefer the gossipy version of Floette.

Wooloo family: You're the cutest thing in the universe. Your favorite TV show is Shaun the Sheep.

Drednaw: You've got a snappy attitude.

Yamper family: You're a fan of little corgi dogs. Small dogs are best dogs. 

Coalossal: You were on Santa's Nice list 15 years in a row. But the only present you ever want is coal. So Santa has to waste his precious Naughty list coal on you because you really need coal for something. 

Applin: Your existence keeps the doctor away.

Flapple: You're a Book Wyrm.

Appletun: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Sandaconda: You've got the world WRAPPED around your finger.

Cramorant: You have terrible table manners.

Barraskewda: If you throw 100 darts at a dart board, at least one of them will stick.

 

Toxtricity: You're nostalgic for 90's punk culture, so you wear lots of leather and listen exclusively to AC/DC.

Centiskorch: You prefer stove-top cooking over microwave cooking. You also prefer oven cooking to microwave cooking. You just hate microwaves with a burning (eyy) passion, okay.

Grapploct: CAN YOU SMELL, WHAT THE OCT, IS COOKING!?

Polteageist: *singing* If there's something strange, in the neighborhood... Who you gonna call? GHOST BUSTERS! If there's something weird, and it don't look good... Who you gonna call? GHOST BUSTERS!

Hatenna: Your favorite video game is A Hat in Time.

Hattrem: You're as mad as a hatter.

 

Hatterene: You're CAP-tivating. Also, Hatterene's smile is so evil, yet adorable, so I'm just going to leave a picture of Hatterene's smile. Enjoy!

Grimmsnarl: Somebody called you ugly in middle school. Now you're an unstoppable force of nature.

Obstagoon: You act tough, but deep down, you're just a lovable goon.

Perrserker: You used to be an adventurer once, but then you took an arrow to the knee. (Are Skyrim jokes still funny in 2020?)

Cursola: You watch a lot of nature documentaries. Also the background for Cursola is black because trying to look at a primarily white Pokemon on a white background is murder on the eyes. Geddit? Murder? Because it's supposed to be dead coral? ...I'll see myself out now.

Sirfetch'd: Lo and behold, the ludicrous patience of Farfetch'd fans has paid off! Introducing Sirfetch'd, a gallant hero that stands for truth, justice, and the Galarian way! ...Now if only the method for evolving wasn't so obtuse and convoluted.

Mr. Rime: Charlie Chaplin is your Spirit Animal.

Runerigus: You played through the emotional roller coaster that is The Banner Saga Trilogy.

Alcremie: You enjoy baking so much, nobody gets you a birthday cake because everyone knows you'll just bake one yourself.

Falinks: On more than one occasion, you felt the urge to yell, "THIS!!! IS!!! GALAR!!!"

Pinchurin: You're surprised this Pokemon can't evolve at all. Which is a shame, because it feels like it would be the baby form of yet another awesome Bug-Type.

Snom: Your favorite TV show is Adventure Time, and you speak exclusively in Ice King quotes.

Frosmoth: You prefer the chilled out version of Volcarona.

Stonjourner: You believe that all the ancient wonders of the world were built by aliens.

Eiscue: You get brain freeze easily.

Indeedee: You're rich enough to hire a butler and maid. Or, alternately, you ARE a butler or maid.

Morpecko: You really need to eat a Snickers.

Cufant family: You like playing with LEGO Bricks.

The Galarian Fossils: You were so concerned about whether or not you could, you never stopped to ask whether or not you should.

Duraludon: Your favorite video game is Subnautica.

Dragapult: Your favorite movie is Top Gun. Also, Bazelgeuse is your Spirit Animal.

Zacian: Sif the Great Grey Wolf taught you how to get good.

Zamazenta: Your favorite movie is All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Eternatus: You like to put neon lights on everything, just to make it look cooler.

Before we continue, I just want to say MILD SPOILER WARNING FOR CONTENT NOT YET CURRENTLY AVAILABLE!!! The next three descriptions are for Pokemon that cannot be encountered in the game right now, but they are planned to be added in the Isle of Armor DLC pack coming out later this year (the Pokemon were announced ahead of time).  

Cubfu family: Your favorite movie is Kung Fu Panda, and Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting! is your theme song. See? The reference was worth waiting for since they're literally  martial artist panda bears, meanwhile Pancham/Pangoro are supposed to be common thugs with no real fighting style. 

Calyrex: You work out... At the library. Side note; I really hope this guy has an alternate form because holy crab-cakes, that might be the worst Legendary design in the series. And the Legendary Pokemon are the ones that usually have the best, most detailed designs!

Zarude: You are, to be quite blunt, rude. As in, perpetually rude. Even to people who are nice to you.

And done... Now... To start the lightning round, as we cover the Pokemon that got redesigned.

Galarian!Meowth: You haven't taken an arrow to the knee yet, so you're still an adventurer.

Galarian!Rapidash: "Perhaps the real Pokemon were the friends we made along the way!" - A Rapidash fan, probably. 

Galarian!Slowpoke: You put mustard. ON EVERYTHING.

Galarian!Farfetch'd: Waiting so long to get something useful from Game Freak has made you bitter and cynical.

Galarian!Weezing: Your name is Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dougsdale Dimmadome.

Galarian!Mr. Mime: You're the stuff of nightmares. ...Actually that description also applies to the original version of this... Abomination. Thank goodness it evolves into something less... Unsettling.

Galarian!Darmanitan: You used to have anger problems, but then you cooled off.

Galarian!Yamask: No cost is too great for you.

Galarian!Stunfisk: Everyone with more than ten brain cells knows that walking over you is a terrible idea.

And done. That's all of Generation Eight. So I'm gonna travel back in time and cover some Pokemon that I missed and are fairly well-liked in the community.

Ho-Oh: You prefer the awesome phoenix version of Fearow.

Lugia: You like playing in the rain.

Tauros: You're bullheaded.

Kingler: Your favorite food is crab leg.

And done. Oh wait, there is one last Pokemon to talk about...

MISSINGNO.: You read a lot of horror stories. You also are a big fan of breaking video games apart and putting them back together.

Now we're done. For reals. This has been an enormous project, and I had a blast writing it. Even if none of the descriptions here or in the previous parts apply to you (most of them are jokes anyway), I hope you enjoyed it. And if you read all eight parts, thank you. Having dedicated readers for such an oddball series means a lot. Now if you excuse me, I need to come up with a new "Favorite [X]" series to keep myself busy...