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Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Top 10 favorite Transformers!

You know, with movies like Back to the Future and video games like Earthbound, the 80's had some really cool stuff. But you want to know what's REALLY cool?

Image result for transformers

TRANSFORMERS!! MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!!! *ahem* Okay, so I LOVE the Transformers franchise a lot. So I thought "Hey! Let's do a countdown for Transformers!". So that's what we're doing today!

But what kind of silly, self-imposed rules am I using for this list? Well....

  1. I will include both Autobots (good guys) AND Decepticons (bad guys) on this list.
  2. As per usual, this is in no order at all.
  3. If there are multiple incarnations of a character *cough cough* Megatron *cough cough*, I will only include one incarnation of that character. So no, I won't put both Optimus Prime and Optimus Primal on this list simultaneously, but I CAN put one or the other. No matter how badly I want to make a "*Trukk not Munky" joke.
  4. Before anyone asks, yes, almost every Transformer's name is some kind of vehicle pun.
Anyway, let's DO THIS!!!


 Image result for transformers wheeljack

Wheeljack. THIS Autobot is most famous (or, depending on the viewer, infamous) for being COMPLETELY re-written from the original cartoon to Transformers: Prime. In the original cartoon released in the 80's, Wheeljack was a eccentric inventor as well as a (implied) mad scientist. In Prime, he's a katana wielding butt-kicking Wrecker, which are the Autobot equivalent of Black Ops. Some people love the fact he is basically a robo-ninja, while other people like mad scientist Wheeljack better. Considering I watched Transformers: Prime before watching the original cartoon, I grew up with ninja Wheeljack. However, Wheeljack is the epitome of overpowered in Transformers: Devastation, where in that game, Wheeljack can end literally ALL of his combos with an explosion attack. And explosions are the only kind of attack that can hit multiple enemies... And he can use almost any weapon at all, with a few exceptions. So yeah! Wheeljack is OP.


Image result for transformers sideswipe

Sideswipe. Specifically, the Robots in Disguise incarnation of Sideswipe. Why? Because in Robots in Disguise, Sideswipe is a rebellious teenage Autobot. Think about that for a second. He's a TEENAGER. Well, we now know that Cybertronians can age! Although, if Sideswipe is a teen, then what's a little Cybertronian kid like? Also, I may be wrong on this but I think that Sideswipe is the first teenage Autobot we've seen, since Optimus Prime has been around for millions of years, and all the other Autobots are APPARENTLY adults. Also, his hair looks like something out of Dragon Ball Z. But anyway, Sideswipe makes it on this list because he's a teenager and because he looks flipping awesome.


Image result for transformers grimlock

You know how pretty much EVERY Transformer can turn into a vehicle? Well, meet Grimlock. Grimlock can transform into A GIANT FIRE-BREATHING ROBOT T. REX!!!!!! I LOVE dinosaurs, and I LOVE Transformers, so when you put them together you get the awesomeness that is Grimlock. Also, when you hear Grimlock say "Me Grimlock no bozo! ME KING!!" You RUN. Very far away. Because that's his catchphrase and things just got real.


Image result for transformers windblade

You thought all Cybertronians were dudes, right? WELL THINK AGAIN!!! Here comes Windblade. Windblade is one of the few female Transformers who has yet to appear in a live action movie because MICHEAL BAY IS TOTALLY BIASED ON WHICH TRANSFORMER MAKES IT IN THE MOVIE OR NOT!!! *ahem* Windblade is unique in a lot of ways. First, she's a FREAKING SAMURAI WITH DUAL SWORDS THAT ARE PURPLE!!! Well, more like a purple-pink. But still! Secondly, she is female. Although, considering that the Transformers are robots, when they say she's female, does that mean she is a robot built to look feminine? Or is she actually, biologically, female? If it's the former then no biggie, but if it's the latter, that slightly implies that Transformers need to breed to reproduce.... Yeah... This is awkward... MOVING ON!!! Am I the only one that thinks she looks like Kyoshi from Avatar: The Last Airbender? But the thing that makes her most unique would be because her alternate form is jet, she is one of the few Autobots who can fly. Seriously, one would think that Autobots would have a lot more areal fighters on their side since flight is a very useful advantage.


Image result for transformers prime starscream

Finally, a Decepticon! Anyway, here's Starscream. He can turn into a jet much like Windblade but Starscream's thing is he has rocket launchers on his arms. Also...

Image result for transformers starscream

What did Micheal Bay DO to you, Starscream!? Starscream's design has been ruined. 0/10. Seriously, at least TRY and make Starscream look cool! He may be a cowardly traitor, but at least he (normally) has one of the coolest designs out of the Decepticons! But on to positives! Starscream is one of the few Decepticons who hates Megatron and would gladly kill him first chance he gets. Although, whether he genuinely hates Megatron for being a complete jerk to him or simply wants to become leader of the Decepticons varies from incarnation to incarnation. Also, he has some of the best voice acting in Transformers: Prime. Seriously, in that show he sounds pretty much how you would expect him to sound (I never was a fan of his 80's voice).


Image result for transformers shockwave

Shockwave! He's what you get if you combine a cyclops with Dr. Frankenstein, and then gave him a arm cannon. And no, not a cannon ATTACHED to his arm. His arm IS the cannon! Anyway, Shockwave is arguably the most loyal Decepticon Megatron has. Shockwave also has terrible aim in the original cartoon and can't hit the broadside of a barn to save his life. His aim sometimes gets so bad it makes Imperial Stormtroopers look like MLG Pros. At least his aim improved in Fall of Cybertron. Oh, and he's PURPLE!!!


Image result for bumblebee

I was originally going to put Cliffjumper here, but I decided to go with Bumblebee instead because Bumblebee is awesome. Also, random fun fact! Because the first instance of Transformers I was exposed to was the Micheal Bay movies (in which Bumblebee is mute), I naturally assumed that Bumblebee was ALWAYS mute and then I watched the original cartoon and I was like "YOU CAN TALK!?". But anyway, Bumblebee is one of the two mainstay Autobots. Like he will NEVER leave the main team. Kind of like Optimus Prime, since, you know, he's the main hero of the series. Also, Bumblebee's Prime design is basically a better version of the Micheal Bay movie design (It's better because it's simpler, and the Bay-formers movies just LOVE making the character designs as overly detailed as possible).


Image result for transformers prime soundwave

Alright, so here we have Soundwave. Not to be confused with SHOCK-wave. Oh, but we're not talking about any version of Soundwave, we're talking about Prime Soundwave. What's so special about Soundwave you ask? He's basically Slender-man as a robot. For those of you who do not know who Slender-man is, Slender-man is the main villain in the video game Slender: The Arrival. Slender-man is also a creepy-pasta in and of himself. But don''t take my word for the whole "Soundwave is robo-Slender-man" thing. You know, I'll go find a picture and post it below so you can see the resemblance.

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This is Slender-man. Er... Actually this is just one picture of Slender-man, since there are actually a LOT of pictures of Slender-man, but I like this picture so I'll use this one. Also, if you want to know what kind of game Slender: The Arrival is then...

Image result for spongebob slenderman memes
Pretty much the whole game in a nutshell.

Anyway, Soundwave is a robot Slender-man. Oh, and Soundwave has the creepiest method of talking ever. Instead of having an actual voice of his own, he records dialogue from other characters and mix/matches the words to form sentences. Also, Soundwave's face is literally the Decepticon logo without the eyes. Now you cannot un-see it.


Image result for optimus prime

Optimus Prime. The main hero of the entire franchise. Who cheated death a million times because he's just THAT awesome. And has the most epic sounding voice in the history of modern entertainment! After all, Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime. He doesn't play the role of Optimus Prime. He IS Optimus Prime. Also, when Optimus Prime ORIGINALLY died, the entire universe cried because Optimus Prime is OBVIOUSLY the greatest hero in the history of heroes. And then he came back from the dead because it was at that moment that Hasbro realized... "Oh Scrap. We just killed off everyone's favorite character. Quick! Re-write the story so we can bring Optimus Prime back from the dead!". And the rest is history. Also...

Image result for optimus prime meme

Also, you remember Winnie the Pooh, right? And how in Winnie the Pooh there there was a donkey called Eeyore, right? Eeyore and Optimus Prime were voiced BY THE EXACT SAME PERSON.

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And before we move on to the number one pick, here's some honorable mentions!

  1. Cliffjumper. Ultimately decided that Bumblebee was the better of the two.
  2. Blitzwing. Considered putting him here because of his awesome sounding name but he's literally just a lame rip-off of Starscream.
  3. Predaking. The only Transformer that can turn into a dragon. Decided that Grimlock was better because as much as I love dragons, I love dinosaurs even more.
  4. Megatron. The big bad of the entire franchise. I ultimately decided that Soundwave's eerie resemblance to Slender-man made him cooler.
  5. Bulkhead/Hound. One existed in Transformers: Prime and the other comes from Transformers: Age of Exinction. Although they technically are the same character. Both are almost identical and have similar personalities, but neither made it on the list because I honestly didn't where to put them.
And now for the moment you've been waiting for! Which Transformer is my all-time favorite!?


Image result for transformers jazz 

Jazz! Yes! Jazz is the epitome of coolness itself. First, he has a Batman-style grappling hook. Second, he has (in Fall of Cybertron) a sniper rifle, and since Jazz is one of the most acrobatic Autobots ever he can EASILY become a MLG Pro. And three, in Transformers: Robots in Disguise Sideswipe thought that Jazz was so cool that he memorized his fighting style. Think about that. This dude is so cool that OTHER Autobots try to copy his style. And finally, he was voiced by Troy Baker. In case you don't know who Troy Baker is, he is an AMAZING actor that has played just about every role you could think of. He's voiced literally HUNDREDS of video game characters and even voices anime characters (in English dub of course). Anyway, back to Jazz! Jazz is not only my favorite Transformer but is a fan-favorite for a lot of people. And you can imagine how many people screamed at Micheal Bay when Jazz died in the first movie.

So those are my favorite Transformers! If you like Transformers then be sure to let me know who YOUR favorite is because I like it when people share opinions on which shape-shifting robot is cooler than the rest. Or you could not. I won't force you. It's a free world after all. Well technically it's not a free world since almost nothing is free.

*Trukk not Munky. This memetic phrase originated when Transformers: Beast Wars came out and Optimus Primal (the Beast Wars version of Optimus Prime) could transform into a gorilla instead of a truck. The reason for this was because in Transformers: Beast Wars, the robots in disguise took the forms of animals instead of vehicles. Which, depending on the person, is either cooler or sillier. Most people were VERY confused about the whole concept of Transformers turning into animals and actually begged Hasbro to bring back vehicular Transformers. Which they did! After three whole seasons of Beast Wars. And by the time the show reached it's climax people were just warming up to to animal Transformers. So yeah.