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Thursday, April 21, 2016

Kung Fu Panda 3 (and stuff)!!!

Okay, so how I did NOT write any Kung Fu Panda posts on this blog is a mystery to me but that is not the point. The point is that Kung Fu Panda 3 came out I shall preview it because I haven't seen the actual movie but I HAVE watched Kung Fu Pandas 1 and 2.

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Okay, so in case you do not know what Kung Fu Panda is, it is a action/comedy thing starring a panda named Po. The movies are always fun to watch from the epic fighting scenes that honestly put some of the best anime fights to shame (well, except for *Kyuubi Naruto vs Curse Mark II Sasuke, but let's be honest nothing can beat that fight), to the humor delivered by Po himself (he IS voiced by Jack Black after all lol).

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Anyways, the thing about Kung Fu Panda is while the movies are really good, the video games are meh. The biggest offender is Kung Fu Panda: Showdown of Legendary Legends (yes, that is what the game is called). That game is literally a Smash Bros clone. Makes you wonder how people can get away with making a carbon copy of such a tightly made game. But now that I think about it, since when has video games based off of movies ever actually been good? They just vomit a half-baked sorry excuse of a video game without really putting much thought into it. Except the Ratchet & Clank PS4 remake inspired by the up-coming movie. I've only seen trailers and the first twenty minutes and it's 12x better than most video game tie-ins.

But enough negativity, let's move on to the actual point of the post, which is me getting hyped up for Kung Fu Panda 3, but first, a little refresher.

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Po's sensei, named Shifu, is 
a Red Panda, which I consider
to this day to be the cutest animal
on the planet.

In Kung Fu Panda 1 Po worked with his (spoiler alert! adopted) dad in a Noodle Restaurant in a DreamWorks-ized version of (Presumably **Feudal) China. He was basically not very good at anything but loved Kung Fu and always wanted to be a Kung Fu Master. And he got his wish (sort of) when Master Oogway (pictured below) selected him to become the Dragon Warrior, which is basically the Chosen One of Kung Fu Panda.

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Oogway!

However, Oogway's right hand man Shifu doubts that Po could be the Dragon Warrior because Po is just a clumsy, chubby panda. Especially since the Furious Five (a team of the best fighters Shifu ever trained. They consist of a Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Viper, and a Mantis) are infinitely better at Kung Fu. Granted, they all have fighting styles tailored to their animal inspirations, like Crane's flight, or Mantis' small size.
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The Furious Five!

So what exactly is Po's big moment? When he practically invents a new Kung Fu fighting style to accommodate his bulk (random fun fact! The exact style of Kung Fu Po uses is Bear Style. The reason for that is because Bear Style is simple and easy to use and more importantly, it's the easiest for DreamWorks to animate). And he perfects it just in time because at the beginning of the movie a snow leopard named Tai Lung escapes Kung Fu Jail (that is obviously not the actual name of the prison lol) and wanted to become the Dragon Warrior himself but Oogway denied him access to Dragon Warrior status due to him being evil and stuff (I don't remember the exact reason off the top of my head). Cue an epic Kung Fu showdown that, like I said, puts a lot of good anime's fight scenes to shame. Now that I think about it, considering Po's obsession with martial arts and action figures, can we classify Po as an ***Otaku? Hold on, I'll be right back. *checks TV Tropes to see if they classified Po as a Otaku*

So apparently TV Tropes didn't classify him as an Otaku... Interesting.... Oh well. I'll just pretend he's an Otaku until somebody *cough cough* Vincent *cough cough* yells at me that he's not an Otaku

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Anyways, the movie ends with Po beating Tai Lung. Funnily enough Po did it with the Wuxi Finger Hold (A super OP Kung Fu move that is basically an unavoidable One Hit Kill move). Even though now that I'm thinking about it, Po only needed to see Shifu do it once and he perfectly memorized it. See? Only an Otaku can perfectly memorize and perform overpowered Kung Fu moves! #Potaku!

Now in the second film, now that Po is an official Kung Fu master (he now fights alongside the Furious Five). he only has one more thing to learn: Inner Peace. Especially since SPOILER ALERT! He learns that a peacock named Shen basically commit genocide on a panda village and that Po is the sole survivor (he was a baby when this happened).

And when he does find Inner Peace, he becomes even more OP. He literally deflects FIREBALLS WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Or should I say BEAR hands!? Y'know because he's a panda bear, and bear sounds like bare. Yeah... I'll be seeing myself out now. *quietly leaves the room, but leaves behind a list of bad bear puns*

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Welp...

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But Mr. Koala, the sad truth is...

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Okay I'll stop. For real this time.

And now we have the third and final film unless they make a fourth one. Kung Fu Panda 3. So in the first one we had Po learning Kung Fu as a whole, and the second one was Po achieving Inner Peace. The third movie continues the pattern of Po needing to learn something to combat the villain, so what do we have Po learn this time? How to be a teacher. Yep. In the third movie Po becomes the teacher and has to teach a panda village (possibly the same one Shen destroyed?) how to do Kung Fu.

Now I have had a part of the movie spoiled for me because I HAVE heard that Po gets what amounts to Kung Fu Magic *cough cough* Ninjutsu *cough cough* to fight a bull/ox thing (already forgot what animal the villain of Kung Fu Panda 3 is supposed to be lol).

By the way I was referencing Naruto again with the whole Ninjutsu thing. Could fit a "*" there because of the coughing.

Anyway, I really want to see Kung Fu Panda 3 (Gee whilickers Batman! There are so many movies I want to see lol). Also, as a Kung Fu Panda fan I only have one thing to say (and if you seen at least one of the movies you know exactly what that is!).

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It had to be done.

* I was referencing the first time Naruto and Sasuke fought each other in the Naruto anime. That is my personal favorite fight scene. If you haven't seen that fight scene, it's one of the highlights of the Naruto anime as a whole. The only downside is that the fight is so long it carried over THREE WHOLE EPISODES. So if you don't have the attention span for three whole episodes of Naruto vs Sasuke, then just not watch the anime as a whole, since it takes a while for the better story arcs to come full circle, but being honest, EVERY anime does that.

**- I was only guessing that the world of Kung Fu Panda is in Feudal era because of the architecture, and clothing designs of the characters. It's entirely possible it's Edo-era.

***- Otaku. Someone who idolizes Japanese popular culture (music, cartoons, etc) but is not of Japanese heritage. The More You Know! *twinkle*

1 comment:

  1. Hey! I made it through a whole blog post without mentioning Undertale! See? I told you I could do it! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES C'MON!!!

    ReplyDelete