I have returned!! With a review/update on the 2.0 Update for Splatoon!!!
In case you don't know what Splatoon is (and by now you should) go read my reviews. Basically It's Nintendo's first major 3rd Person Shooter with a interesting twist being the primary objective is covering the map in your teams paint and stopping the other team from doing the same.
Anyway they added NEW MATCHMAKING!! NEW LEVEL CAP!!! NEW MUSIC!!! And my favorite part of the update, NEW WEAPONS!!!
The first weapon. I knew it was my destiny to wield it into battle: The Splatling Gun!! Get it? It's a pun on Gatling (a well-known six-barreled gun) and Splat (what the game calls getting killed by another player).
This guy has a Splatling Gun.
Deal with It.
And this emoji shows what I thought of the Splatling once I used it for the first time.
This gun is amazing I love It!!!
It also added another new weapon. The Slosher!! It's literally a bucket full of paint. And everyone on the Internet is like "OMG SLOSHER OP PLEASE NERF!!" (Pretend everyone on the Internet is saying this in a girly, high pitched voice). But the Slosher is not OP. It would be OP if it was a one hit kill. But it's not. It's a two hit kill.
But the Splatling Gun is a good gun. Is it good at covering the map in paint? YES!!!! Is it good at camping? YES!!! Is it good at getting KILL STREAKS!? Um, yes and no. Because In Splat Zones (a game mode where all good campers camp) you can get 10+ kills. But in Tower Control the Splatling is useless.
Get to the Slosher!! (bad pun I know. You
cannot stop the puns!!!!!!!!)
The Slosher is interesting because it is basically a shotgun. If shotguns only kill in two hits. But It is currently the only weapon that can kill you even if you have the high ground/hiding behind cover/splash wall.
They also added two new maps not in this update, but a LONG TIME AGO. Camp Triggerfish and Moray Towers.
Layout of Camp Triggerfish.
Now I believe that this is currently the biggest map in the entire game. But only in the horizontal axis. Which brings me to the most vertical map in video game history.
Layout of Moray Towers!!
And something funny is that two Inkling news reporters (Callie and Marie, it's a pun on Calamari) in the game make a OBVIOUS reference to Pokemon when giving advice for this particular map. Callie: "Paint Rollers are Super Effective Here!!!". Marie: "Chargers are the very best, like no gun ever was!". And that makes me want to play the Pokemon theme song right now.
Anyway, ignoring Pokemon Moray Towers is actually the moment one of my favorite maps. Why? So I can jump behind newbs and #rekarooni them. That's how I get OVER 9000% of my kills on this map.
Speaking of kills I will share what to this day is my BEST Splatoon moment (and it is a "RIP Spencer's achy little heart" moment as well). On my ALL TIME favorite map: Blackbelly Skate park. Now there is a giant tower in the middle, which is an amazing camping spot for snipers, Splatling uses, and .52-.96 Gal users. So I was sniping peoples and all was going well. My team cap'd both Splat Zones. We were miles ahead. Then a enemy Inkling came up behind my Inkling, but I see him just out of the corner of my eye, so I make a 180 degree turn and shoot him at point black, killing him. Then ANOTHER DUDE came out of nowhere and threw a Suction Bomb at me, and I jump off the tower, make a loop around the entire map, climb back up the tower and sneak attack the second dude. and the whole time I am like this...
That is by far the most insane thing ever to happen in Splatoon. Not counting the time where I lagged so bad that the game thought I was not shooting the ground below me even though I was and then I got Shrek'd by a Roller Man.
Oh and the update added new ways to play in terms of Matchmaking. Such as Squad Battles (play competitive with friends) and Private battles (you and seven other people on your friends list play whatever game mode you want, on any map you want). Neither of which I can use because none of my friends actually own a Wii U.
Overall this is an AMAZING update. And it's FREE!!!! So I give a 10/10. Of course because it is just an Update and not a full review, this post is NOT INTENDED to count as a review. More of a "bringing people up to date" type thing.