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Thursday, March 10, 2016

Top Ten Star Wars Characters!!!

I've made it no secret that Undertale is my all time favorite video game, but what exactly is my all time favorite movie? That would be Star Wars (ignoring the prequel trilogy). And what did I do with my favorite video game? I made a top five characters list. So I was thinking "Hey, how cool would be if I told the entire Internet my personal favorite Star Wars characters?". So that is exactly what we will be doing today!

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In case you have never heard of Star Wars (in which case I pity your sad, sad existence) It is the single most economically and critically successful movie franchise ever made. Before we begin I just want to say that I will only include characters from Episodes 4-7 and one spin off game, because if I was to put Jar Jar Binks or any character from the prequels every Star Wars fan ever would tear me limb from limb.

Oh and I guess this list will contain semi-spoilers, but I am sure the majority of you have seen at least one Star Wars film in your life time (if you haven't, CONGRATS!!! You managed to know next to nothing about the most mainstream thing to ever exist!!! Seriously, go watch Star Wars).

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Anyway let's get started!! NOTE: This list is in no order at all. So if you wanted you could put number 10 at number 1 or number 3 at number 6.


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Darth Vader. The big bad of the original trilogy made it on my list. Why? Because he is the most epic villain ever. Random fun fact! Darth Vader's outfit is partly inspired by Samurai armor. Which is fine by me. Because Samurai are cool. But ninja are cooler. Speaking of ninja, do you add an "s" at the end of the word when referring to several ninja, or are you like me and say "ninja" even if there is more than one?

Random fun fact x2! In the video game Star Wars Battlefront for the PS4, Darth Vader is (IMO) the most overpowered character in the game. And then comes the fact that you cannot do multiplayer in that game because you need a PSN account (which I have) AND a EA account (which I do not have) to play any multiplayer mode.

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Chewbacca. Yes. Chewbacca. Chewbacca is AWESOME!!! Who doesn't love a big-foot/yeti/bear man/dog thing (apparently Chewbacca is based of George Lucas' dog)? Also they buffed him in Episode 7. That crossbow of his now sends people flying. Except Kylo Ren, apparently. Also that moment in Episode 7 when Chewbacca is recapping the story so far to a nurse made me laugh (one of the reasons I don't like the prequels, was because they were two serious). Especially since literally every character can understand Chewbacca's "Wrooaaagh" speak. Except the audience. I now hope one day someone will invent a Chewbacca translator so I can understand Chewbacca.


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You remember that I would include a character from a spin off game? This is that character. Meet Starkiller. Also known as Vader's Apprentice. Also known as the guy who can tear Star Destroyers to pieces with the Force like their made of Play Dough. Yeah. He can do that! Too bad he dies at the end of the first game because he is too awesome to live. Then Vader cloned him, hoping the clone is more loyal than the original. The clone is even MORE powerful than the original! But at the same time has a nasty temper (his strongest Force Power is literally called Force Rage, where he runs around violently chopping up every enemy in the room to a million pieces).

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Oh, and he shares his name with a planet sized fortress. Speaking of which both the fortress and Starkiller himself use the name George Lucas considered naming Luke Skywalker when Episode 4 was being made. Thank the Force he changed it to Skywalker! 


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Yoda. I'm a sucker for *sensei (not to be confused with **senpai) style characters, and Yoda is the best sensei I can think of. Also he talks backwards. Although you cannot deny that Yoda speaks the truth about everything. Great job, Lucas!

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It's true though!

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Sounds like Yoda has been playing

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Best life lesson ever, kids.

Also, was I the only one that thought that Yoda's SPOILER ALERT!! death scene was the saddest thing Star Wars ever did? Then they killed Han Solo. Granted, I was more shocked than anything.


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R2-D2. In addition to being the second cutest robot ever, R2-D2 played a very important role in Episode 4. Think about it this way. If Princess Leia never hid that message for Obi-Wan Kenobi inside R2, Luke Skywalker would still be working at a moisture farm. Meditate on that image. Om...



Oh, and bonus points for soloing two Super Battle Droids in the prequels. That is the only GOOD thing about the prequels.


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Han Solo. Yes. Anyone who has seen at least one of the original movies knows why Han Solo is awesome. He has the word "solo" in his name! Which rhymes with YOLO!! He is also the captain of the best ship this side of the Outer Rim, the Millennium Falcon!

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Random fun fact! The shape of the Millennium Falcon was inspired by a ham-burger. Even though, now that I am looking at it, it looks a little bit like a pizza. What food item does the Millennium Falcon remind you of? Also, Han shot first. :P

On another note, I think we can agree that Harrison Ford is an amazing actor and his role as Han Solo really shows his talents. 10/10. Would Solo again.

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Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan is the only character from the prequels that was still cool. Too bad he disintegrated halfway through Episode 4. Also, Obi-Wan sounds like Number One if you say it fast enough. The More You Know! *twinkle*

Also, was I the only one that caught that moment in Episode 4, when Obi-Wan says that Darth Vader killed Luke's father, only for Darth Vader to reveal that he is, in fact, Luke's father directly. Sure, I know Obi's ghost said he was technically telling the truth on a philosophical level (Vader betrayed the Jedi Order). But it's too late Obi-Wan. Everyone knows you are a dirty liar. At least I do! :^)


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Rey. The first ever awesome female Star Wars character. And the most enigmatic Star Wars character. Seriously, the Internet has a million theories about her. These range from simple stuff like being Luke Skywalker's daughter, to downright insane. I mean, who honestly believes she is Anakin Skywalker reborn? Sure, I get that Anakin is based off Jesus Christ, but I find that theory to be too far fetched to be true. If it is true... I owe every Anakin=Rey supporter an apology. And a Cookie. But I HIGHLY doubt that is the case.

Also, she did the most hilarious mind trick in Jedi history.


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Finn. I really like Finn for a number of reasons. He was a Stormtrooper. I find the concept of a character who used to work for the bad guys and turns over to the Light side of the Force to be cool (But Spencer, THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS! =D ). Second, respect points for fighting a Sith Lord with a Lightsaber despite not really knowing ***how to Lightsaber. And finally, they actually explain the ethnology of his name (His call-sign back in his Stormtrooper days was FN-2187 so through away the numbers, and combine F and N, and you get Finn!).  

Oh, and Finn is not to be confused with this guy.

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Yes. BB-8. The Number One Cutest robot ever made! Just look at him (her? It? Them? It's a droid. Who Cares)! SO CUTE!! *dies from cuteness overload, then becomes a Force ghost to finish the blog post* 

BB-8 is easily my favorite Star Wars character now. He's cute (I will refer to BB-8 with masculine nouns until this droid is given a canonical gender), he plays a surprisingly big role in the story (he has the map to Luke Skywalker's place), and that thumbs up though!

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If you do not think this guy is adorable, then you have no SOUL!! And by Undertale logic you would be a homicidal plant with serious anger problems.


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Nah, just kidding. I won't pull the "number zero spot" shenanigans I did with my Undertale characters list. Because quite frankly, I can't make up who to put in a number zero spot since there are like 9000 Star Wars characters to choose.

So there are my top ten Star Wars characters. Let me know who your favorite Star Wars character is and why. Because reasons! And May the Force be with you!

*-Sensei. The Japanese word for teacher. The More You Know *double twinkle*

**- Senpai. A word originating in Japan often used to describe someone's idol (you know, like someone you look up to). Recently it has become part of a infamous phrase on the Internet known as "Senpai Notice Me". The More you Know! *triple twinkle*

***-Yes, you read that right. How to Lightsaber instead of How to Use a Lightsaber. Because SPENCER LOGIC!!!

1 comment:

  1. This may be the most meme-filled blog post I ever published...