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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Wreck-It Ralph Time!!!!!!!!!!!!

This blog post is about the super awesome movie: Wreck-It Ralph.

The character Wreck-It Ralph is from a video game. In fact, almost the whole movie (except a few scenes) take place in one of several video games. And Ralph travels from one video game to the next.

Here is the plot.
The movie starts with Wreck-It Ralph narrating about his purpose in the video game Fix-It Felix Jr.. Ralph is the villain of that video game. You see, the game is quite simple. You play as the maintenance man of an apartment. Ralph must smash this same apartment until there is nothing left of it. The maintenance man, named Fix-It Felix Jr., must repair all the damage that Ralph has done to the building. You win if Felix manages to repair every inch of the building. The tenants of the apartment then throw Ralph off the roof and poor old Ralph lands face first in a mud puddle. This video game has been around for exactly 30 years. It has not been modified from the original version at all in any way.

When Ralph stops narrating, we see he is at a gathering of video game villains. And humorously, Clyde the Orange Ghost from Pac-Man, Dr. Eggman from Sonic the Hedgehog, and Bowser from Super Mario Bros. are at this meeting. Ralph is feeling like he should have the very important role of the hero for once as he has been a villain for 30 years. So it is kind of obvious that Wreck-It Ralph wants just ONE teeny tiny role swap for just ONE time. And a member of "Bad-Anon" (a goofy club for video game villains) asks if Ralph is thinking about going Turbo. Apparently, a video game character that has gone Turbo is a video game character that has gone rogue.

After the Bad-Anon meeting , Ralph meets Q*bert. Q*bert and the characters from his video game have been "unplugged". If a video game is unplugged, that video game's characters are rendered homeless. So Ralph gives him a cherry (Ralph snatched a cherry from Pac-Man). If you look and hear closely, you can see and hear Sonic the Hedgehog (through several computer monitors) reminding the video game characters that if you die outside the game you belong in, you stay dead. But if you die WITHIN your own video game, then you regenerate.

Ralph then arrives back in his video game, and sees that Felix and the NPC's were celebrating the game's 30th anniversary. But the tenants to the in-game apartment shunned Ralph, out-casted Ralph. In other words they were being jerks to their own game's villain. But Felix lets Ralph in the Pen-house (the room with the party) so he can eat a piece of cake (Ralph never eaten cake in his life).

It is here that we learn that the tenants believe Ralph to be nothing more than a super evil villain. Because first of all, the tenants treated him like a criminal outcast. Second of all, Mary, one of the tenants, baked a cake and made everyone's segment of the game into their favorite flavor. She made Ralph's segment chocolate. But it turns out Ralph hates chocolate.

And Ralph edits the cake by placing the cake model of him on the roof, with every other cake model character. But Gene, another tenant, says that there is no room on the top, and places the first cake model back on it's original spot. And later on in the argument, Gene says that Ralph will always be the evil guy and will never become a good hero. And he points out that only heroes get MEDALS. I should also mention that when you beat Fix-It Felix Jr., Felix is given a medal. So Ralph decides that he can get the super awesome medal to prove he is more than the villain.

Ralph goes to the video game Tappers (where you have to slide drinks and foods down long narrow tables and the character that ordered the food and drink will catch it, thus scoring points) so he can learn if their is a video game besides Fix-It Felix Jr. that gives medals to the winner. And there IS another medal-giving video game in the arcade. A first person shooter called Hero's Duty.

But that game is like Metroid. In case you are wondering, Metroid is a shooting game. With the super classic future theme. But Hero's Duty (in terms of gameplay) is very similar to Metroid Prime. And it's sequels: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. But anyway, to beat Hero's Duty, the player must fight their way into a building infested with hideous monsters called Cy-Bugs. Unlike every other video game character in the movie, the Cy-Bugs do not know they are video game characters. Shoot, they only know three things: Eat, kill, and multiply. But how do they prevent themselves from rampaging through every game in the arcade? At the closing hours, a beacon appears and the Cy-Bugs return to the top of the tower, following the light of the beacon like a moth following a flame.

Anyway, Ralph (disguised as one of the NPC's that fight side by side with the player) is super eager to get the medal. Unfortunately, Ralph breaks NPC rule #1. Never, EVER interfere with gameplay unless you are supposed to. He breaks this rule by hiding behind the player's character and openly sacrifices the player to an incoming Cy-Bug, resulting in the little girl playing the game to get a Game Over. The NPC's (including the leader, a beautiful lady with an extremely nasty attitude.) then return to the starting position. Ralph then decides to just use his power to wreck things (in other words, he just smashes the target with his ridiculously large hands) to climb the tower without having to pick the long way.

Back at Fix-It Felix Jr., Q*bert shows up and tells Felix that Ralph has gone Turbo. But he did this in a (impossible to translate) Q*bert-ese conversation. And by Q*bert-ese, I mean a speech bubble appears above Q*bert's head and it fills up with random symbols, like this. "!@#!%$^". See what I mean? But anyway, Felix goes to Hero's Duty, and meets the leader of the game's NPC's: Tamora Jean Calhoun. And here is another similarity between Hero's Duty and Metroid. Metroid's main heroine, Samus Aran, and Calhoun both have blonde hair (even though Samus wears a helmet covering her entire head), both fight dangerous aliens (In Samus's case, Metroids. A Metroid is a jellyfish like alien, that can drain your LIFE ENERGY.), and they both have tragic back stories that come with their respective game. In Samus's case, when she was a child, both her parents have been killed by Space Pirates. Most notably their second highest authority, a dragon like creature that calls himself Ridley. In case you are wonder who is the highest authority, it is a living computer named Mother Brain. Samus blew Mother Brain up. Twice. And Samus blew up Ridley so many times that Ridley had to turn himself into a cyborg just to stay alive.

In Calhoun's case, her fiance was eaten by a Cy-Bug on their wedding day. Anyway, when Calhoun realizes that Ralph is in Hero's Duty, Wreck-It Ralph just wrecked his way to the top floor. When he grabs the medal, he accidentally activates a Cy-Bug egg.

Ralph (and the baby Cy-Bug) accidentally climb and launch an escape pod. And it flies right through the game's exit, flies around Game Central Station (a lobby that video game characters hang out in during the arcade's closing hours), and lands in a game called Sugar Rush. Sugar Rush is a racing game. The track, plant life, and even the available cars are made of candy, sweets, and desert. The Cy-Bug lands and presumably drowns in a lake of what looks like sherbert ice cream. Unfortunately, the medal was hung up on a candy cane tree. And in that tree was a girl called Vanellope von Schweetz. Vanellope is Sugar Rush's glitch. The tell-tale sign of her being a glitch is that she seems to teleport whenever she gets over excited. Anyway, Vanellope mistakes the medal for a gold coin. And here is the cool part about Sugar Rush. The list of playable characters changes every day. Only the top nine racers can compete the next day. Sometimes a playable character is lucky enough to become playable twice in a row. But in order to become playable the next day, a racer must collect a gold coin and drop into a giant trophy. The coin will turn into digital code and the owner of the coin will be registered as a playable character for the next day. This only happens during the closing hours.

Anyway, Vanellope goes to the Start/Finish Line, where you need to register. But since she is a glitch, the other eight racers out-casted her, shunned her, and in general, they were jerks to her. So she is kind of like Wreck-It Ralph in terms of how the other characters made both Ralph and Vanellope into outcasts. So she goes in disguise, where the hood attached to her hoodie to hide her face. But here is the catch. The medal from Hero's Duty acted exactly like a gold coin. And she got registered. But all registered characters have their full name appear on a roster board. So when Vanellope registered, her name appeared. At that point, King Candy (the only racer that manages to get into EVERY race in the game. He was the most skillful racer in the game.) summons security.

Ralph (who fell in the same lake the Cy-Bug fell into, and the sticky-ness made the candy plants cling to his body) showed up, wanting his medal back. But he got stuffed in a cupcake. King Candy then has a guard "unmask" Ralph (actually, his entire face was covered in the sticky substance). After that, King Candy realizes that the "coin" that Vanellope von Schweetz used to register was actually one of the medals from Hero's Duty.

Back at the Game Central Station, the hologram guard (who would do the "random inspection procedure" with Wreck-It Ralph whenever he exits or enters the entrance to a video game) tells Calhoun and Felix where the escape pod landed. So they go there, but not without having awkward romantic moment. In fact, when they turn the escape pod into a small spaceship, Felix calls Calhoun "Dynamite Gal". But that reminded her of her fiance, because before he was eaten he used to call Calhoun "Dynamite Gal". Anyway, after Calhoun drops off Felix, Felix goes to King Candy's castle. And a NPC made of edible spheres throws Felix into the "Fungeon". The Fungeon is the castle's dungeon. And just like the rest of the castle, the Fungeon is made entirely out of candy.

Vanellope and Ralph then decide to make a deal. If Wreck-It Ralph helped Vanellope build her very first car (she used to have a peddle car, but it was smashed by rival racers), Vanellope would give Ralph back the medal. After all, if you win, you get your coin back.

And humorously, in order to build a race car in Sugar Rush, you need to bake it in a three stage minigame. First stage: seperate cooking ingredients (using a platform) from garbage. Second stage: pump heat into the oven and keep it in the "Just right" area. Final stage: shoot balls at the desired liquid to make it spill over the car, thus giving it color. The result was a go-kart with lots of uneven color, because Ralph put too much force into ball cannon.

Then King Candy and the security guards show up. At this point Vanellope reveals that she actually doesn't know HOW to drive. Even though she wanted to be a racer. And even more humorously, her new car is stick-shift. I do hope you know what that means. It means that the direction is determined by the push or pull of a lever in the car's driver seat. The other type of car is automatic. For automatic cars, push down on the accelerator to go forwards, and push down on the the brakes to go backwards.

Anyway, Ralph learns that Vanellope lives all alone in a half-built bonus level in Diet Cola Mountain. And it even has Diet Cola Hot Springs. And above that is stalactites made of Mentos. And if you are a science nerd, you would know that Mentos + Diet Cola = Massive Cola Geyser that spews Diet Cola everywhere. Anyway, the entrance to this is secret. Only Vanellope knows that this bonus level even exists.

Ralph, realizing that Vanellope is his only hope for retrieving the medal, carves a race track as a training course. He carved the track by punching the ground several times at blinding speed (as if his hands were jackhammers), and running forwards. He uses this skill to soften the pile of garbage and bricks he sleeps on during closing hours. Anyway, we see a montage of Ralph teaching Vanellope how to drive. Of course, Ralph never drove a vehicle in his life. But Vanellope becomes very awesome at driving.

Just before Vanellope drive out to have Vanellope win her very first race, King Candy rematerialized the medal and gave it to Ralph if he talked Vanellope into not racing. According to King Candy, if Vanellope wins, she will become playable. If one of the players notice her sudden pix-elation, they will think that the game is malfunctioning. And a malfunctioning game equals an unplugged game, and an unplugged game equals homeless video game characters. And what's worse is that since glitches cannot leave their game, Vanellope will die with the game. After breaking his friendship with Vanellope by smashing the car, Ralph goes back to the game he belongs to: Fix-It Felix Jr..

But this is why Felix was looking for Ralph in the first place. All video game characters must return to their own game the MOMENT the arcade opens. Because if they do not, they will not appear in the video game, but appear in whatever video game they are currently in. And it has been a whole day since Ralph entered Hero's Duty. But anyway, the only one in the apartment is Gene. And (true to his word) gives the keys to the pen-house. But the game was scheduled to be unplugged the next day. Ralph then throws his medal at the console's screen, knocking off the "Out of Order" sign. And he gets a view and the console for Sugar Rush. But it turns out that Vanellope was not a glitch, as she is seen in a picture on the side of the console.

Ralph then returns to Sugar Rush and interrogates the adviser of King Candy. After torturing the adviser by licking him, he reveals that Vanellope used to be a playable character, and that King Candy severed her code, transforming her into a glitch. But if Vanellope crosses the finish line, the game will reset, and she will be a full-fledged playable character. But when Ralph asks why King Candy did this, the adviser says that he (and every other character besides King Candy) do not remember. Because King Candy literally locked up their memories.

 Meanwhile, Felix tries to smash his cell open with his hammer, but because the hammer only repairs things, he winds up making the cell even thicker. But Wreck-It Ralph smashes open the wall, and Felix starts complaining that he met the love of his life, but she does not share the affection. And also complains that he was thrown in jail. And then Felix says that Ralph does not know how it feels to be rejected and treated like a criminal. But Ralph finally reveals that being rejected and treated like a criminal is every day of his life. That is why he went Turbo in the first place.

Anyway, Calhoun has been tracking the Cy-Bugs (the Cy-Bug that fell in the green substance survived and laid millions of eggs), and finds the lead Cy-Bug's lair. Which is filled with eggs. But back to Ralph and Felix's side of the story. Felix repaired the smashed car and released Vanellope from the Fungeon. Anyway, Vanellope then enters the race in her repaired car and epic race scene begins. Vanellope passes every racer except for King Candy. During the race/fight scene, King Candy starts glitching out, revealing his true form. King Candy is actually Turbo, and here is why rogue video game characters are described as going Turbo. You see, several years ago, there was a video game called Turbo-Time, and the playable character was Turbo, a racer. But when the video game Road Blaster stole the spotlight, he was so jealous that he went over to the new game and tried to take it over. The result was Turbo forcing the arcade owner to unplug both games.

And Turbo is about to kill Vanellope by smashing her between her on car and the approaching stalagmite. But Vanellope teleports to safety and speeds out of the tunnel. Turbo is then eaten by a Cy-Bug. I should mention that the Cy-Bugs have started rampaging by now. But here is the funny thing about Cy-Bugs eating things. They absorb the characteristics of everything they eat. So, Turbo is revived as a half-Turbo-half-Cy-Bug mutant.

Back at the Sugar Rush entrance, Calhoun is both evacuating the game as well as killing every Cy-Bug with her gun. But she runs out of ammo. Calhoun says out loud that the only thing that can stop the Cy-Bugs is a beacon. Ralph then realizes that if he knocks enough Mentos stalactites into the Diet Cola Hot Springs, it will release a light that will serve as a beacon substitute. So he gets on the roof and begins smashing his way through. Before he can deliver the final blow, Turbo (with his new Cy-Bug body) smacks Ralph away, and epic fight scene begins. When Turbo says that it is game over for everyone, Ralph then says that it is only game over for him. He jumps out of Turbo's grasp and recites the Bad-Anon creed. It goes like this: "I am bad, and that is good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There is no one I'd rather be, than me." The Bad-Anon members recite this at the end of every meeting. And Ralph smashes through the roof of the mountain. Before he could die, Vanellope saves his life by knocking him out of the mountain.

The explosion is so bright that it serves as a beacon. All the Cy-Bugs then fly into it, and perish in the explosion's heat. Turbo tries to resist the urge to fly into the explosion, but the Cy-Bug in him forces him to do so, and Turbo dies in the explosion.

Felix then repairs the 90% eaten finish line, Vanellope crosses it, and she gains her true form. It is exactly the same as her previous form, only the hoodie, skirt, and socks are replaced with a cute princess dress. The memories of the other characters are restored and turns out Vanellope is the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush. The other racers then apologize (and blame each other) to Vanellope for being jerks to her. Vanellope then makes a very funny joke. She declares that every that was a jerk to her shall be executed. If you do not know what execution is, it is "Off with their head!", "Ready, aim, fire!", and in general, it is where a criminal is punished for his crime by death. But she then says that she is just messing with them.

Even though she is now the ruler, she does not want to be the ruler, but be a racer. So she becomes President. Ralph then returns back to Fix-It Felix Jr.. And the best part is: the homeless video game characters now have a home. In the Bonus Levels of Fix-It Felix Jr.. Most of the new characters damage the building even worse with Ralph, while Q*bert helps Felix by having Felix ride on Q*bert's back.

And here is a bonus. Calhoun marries Felix. But this time, the NPC's from Hero's Duty have their guns pointed at all places Cy-Bugs can enter the building. Ralph then narrates about all this and even says the best part of the day is when the tenants of the apartment from Fix-It Felix Jr. pick him up and throw him off the roof. Because when lifted up, he can see players playing as Vanellope. In fact, players can now use Vanellope's teleportation power as a shortcut.


Do not forget that this is a movie about video game characters. Every video game character in the movie know that they are video game characters.

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