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Monday, February 4, 2013

Barnyard Time!!!!

In case you don't know, I'm a fan of the movie Barnyard and it's TV Show sequel Back at the Barnyard. But I'm also a fan of the Video Game Barnyard.

Let's start with the Movie (the movie is pure awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!). Here is the movie plot.
The movie starts with a Farmer leaving the Barnyard to tend to his crops. When he leaves, a sheep yells "Clear!!!!" and every single barn animal starts walking like humans. It is apparent that the barn animals pretend to be animals even though they are capable of human behavior. NOTE: animals do NOT do this in real life. A tough-as-nails cow named Ben asks various barn animals if they have seen his adopted son Otis. Meanwhile, Otis (who unlike his dad is a complete fun loving goofball) and his friends Peck the Rooster, Freddie the Ferret, Pip the Mouse, and Pig a (you guessed it) pig are going "hill surfing". But Pig, do to his endless hunger, removes the berry bush that was the brake (to prevent the surfboard from sliding backwards).

At the Barnyard, Ben is having a Meeting (every farm animal must attend). Before he gets to the serious stuff, he wishes a super elderly dog a happy birthday. Anyway, he reminds everyone that the purchase and use of human products is strictly forbidden. Just as he says this, Otis (who got back from hill surfing) gets a phone call from a Gopher that sells human products. Apparently Otis ordered some stuff from that Gopher as the Gopher asks Otis "When he wants the delivery". After that, Ben reveals that it is Coyote Season (No, humans don't go hunting Coyotes. Coyote Season means that Coyotes will randomly attack farms and eat the smaller farm animals) and instructs everyone to stay in groups.

After the Meeting, Ben has a father-son talk. Ben tries to make Otis responsible. But Otis just questions the "stay in groups" defense method and believes that the Coyotes are nothing more than a pest. After all, Cows are bigger than Coyotes. After the father-son talk, the whole Barnyard has a wild party, with a bull riding a mechanical bull shaped like a human, Duke (a dog) playing cards against about ten other dogs, and a band of random barn animals playing country music until a fat mouse starts singing. Meanwhile, at Ben's Hill, Otis kindly asks if Ben could cover Otis' guard shift so he could go perform as the lead vocalist in a band. After an EXO-lent (like excellent but pronounce it like this: X-O-lint) performance, a car is seen driving up to the barn doors...

Now you would think that it was the cops, right? WRONG ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a pizza delivery boy. Otis and Pig ordered about 700 whole pizzas, but only gave the delivery boy about five dollars. Meanwhile, a SUPER Coyote named Dag and five normal Coyotes attempt to kidnap some chickens, but fight Ben instead. After a while, Dag delivered a SUPER bite that killed Ben. After a funeral, Otis sees some teenagers go cow tipping. Otis and the Jersey Cows (three cows that act like gangsters most of the time and other times they act like they drank WAY too much coffee) steal the neighbor's car, go on a joy ride, and drive to the lead teenagers house. And when he goes to bed, BOOM!!!!!!!!!! All four Cows push him out of his bed and mock him before leaving.

The cows go on ANOTHER joy ride. But they break not one, but TWO traffic laws. they went past the speed limit and kept switching lanes WITHOUT turn signals. Then comes an epic chase scene. But Otis and his friends escape police authority by crashing into a meadow, and pretending to be real cows.

The barnyard then elects Otis as the farm animal leader. But that makes them want to have a wild party. But the farm animals are NOT allowed to have wild parties while the Farmer was awake. But Freddie calls in Wild Mike. Wild Mike is so unpredictable that they have to keep him in a box. If he hears music, then he will dance. and when HE dances, everyone around him will gain an uncontrollable urge to dance with him. Unfortunately the Farmer saw Otis dance. Miles the Mule, in order to keep him from finding out that animals can perfectly mimic humans, kicks the Farmer in the head so hard that the Farmer passed out. Otis leaves behind false clues to give to the farmer that explains what he saw (the reason was: he was sitting under a tree, reading a book. A tree branch fell on his head and what he thought was a talking cow was a dream).

Later, the Coyotes attack a rabbit. Otis tries to defeat them, and fails. The SUPER Coyote Dag tells him that Otis will have to let them take a few animals. He also said that if Otis does try to stop them, the Coyotes will kill him on sight. But the good  news is, Otis gets to hang out with Daisy (a new cow that is pregnant).

Now you would expect that the Coyotes would keep their end of the deal and only eat a small amount of animals, so small it's barely noticeable, right? WRONG ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!! They took about EVERY single chicken, including the adorable little fuzzy chick that idolizes Otis.

Otis, taking Ben's word for being a stronger man (before he died, Ben said that a strong man stands up for himself, and a STRONGER man stands up for others), confronts Dag at his junkyard lair and BOOM!!!!!!!!!! Epic fight scene! But Dag had his lesser Coyote minions do all the fighting as he watches from a safe distance. Dag may be a SUPER Coyote, but he's also a coward. And DOUBLE BOOM!!!!!! Freddie, Peck, Pip, Pig, Miles, some gophers, AND the Jersey Cows pop up out of nowhere and ULTIMATE BOOM!!!!!!! They beat up the Coyote minions.

The Jersey cows were driving a car with two of them swing wooden clubs. The third Jersey Cow was driving the car. They whack everybody and crash straight into a wall of debris. But they pop out of the car and continue whacking the Coyotes on foot!!! Pig tripped and fell down a hill, and landed butt first on about...Three, maybe four Coyotes. Pip goes into a Coyote's ear and the Coyote screams "There's a mouse in my ear! There's a mouse in my ear!!!" in a really girly voice. The gophers go using Kung Fu on the Coyotes. And Miles is calmly standing near a box and four Coyotes approach him. Miles uses the classic "Oh My. Whatever shall I do" sarcastic quote. After that he kicks the Coyotes in the head the exact same way he did with the Farmer. There is only one Coyote standing and is trembling with fear. Miles says "Don't worry. I have something Special for you." and he opens the box.

WILD MIKE Appears!!!!! And he rides the Coyote like a Cowboy riding an angry bull. After that, Otis grabs Dag by the neck and almost completely squeezes the life out of him. Otis slams a terrified Dag into a wall. Otis is about to deliver the death blow, but hesitates. He instead orders Dag to never come back. He then proceeds to send Dag flying with a nearby golf club.

When they get back (with stolen motorcycles), Daisy had given birth to a boy cow with her fur color. Daisy decides to name him Ben. Then the Barn Animals Live happily ever after.


Now here is the plot of the Video Game (I never beaten the game, so this is only containing what I have seen so far).
Taking place at the same time as the movie, the player creates a cow with an unknown back story. The little bit of history known is that the your customizable cow is the newest cow the Farmer had obtained. When the new cow arrives, Otis is trying to shoot himself out of a giant cow sized Slingshot. But the Farmer arrives with your character before the stunt is complete. After getting to know Otis, your Character is given SUNGLASSES!!!!!! They make you look like an animal version a secret agent. Plus, wearing them puts you into combat mode. But the only attack is shooting a blast of milk from the udders (All cow characters except the bull narrating the game have udders, regardless of gender.).

Anyway, in a conversation with Pig, you character learns that during the Raccoon season (No they don't hunt Raccoons. The Raccoons attack random farms a steal chicken eggs and the vegetable crops.), the Raccoons stole Pig's cookbook (Pig is a chef). Pig has discovered they ripped out the pages and hid them underneath stones with an "X" painted on them. The only recipe that Pig could find was his recipe for home-made apple pie. Pig then entrusts you with the task of being an apprentice chef. And here's a weird part. Not only did the Raccoons steal the cookbook, they also stole Pig's cocktail (a cocktail is a kind of drink) recipes.

After helping the locals with various tasks, you get to play the minigame Mud Jumpers. Pig yells "Let's all jump in the mud!". Your character says that playing in mud is a Pig hobby, not a Cow hobby. But Pig challenges you to a Mud Jumpers game. To win, be the last animal standing. Each character climb onto elevated platforms. Your cow spins the pipe pouring mud into the mud pit. Just jump over the pipe or kick it to make it spin in the opposite direction. You can only get hit by the pipe five times. The fifth time you get hit, you get knocked off the platform and you lose. In order to proceed, you must win.

After completing more tasks, a rooster (I forgot his name) gives you the task of being the manager of the Night Barn (A fancy night club for farm animals). first, you have to buy stuff from the gophers to decorate the club, or give more activities to do in the Night Barn clubhouse (which is the barn). That rooster will give you a reward if you buy what he thinks will spruce up the place. Like a Milk-weed. a Milk-weed is a special plant that is strong enough to support the weight of an elephant. Planting Milk-Weed seeds in glowing patches of soil, then squirting it with milk will create a ladder made of vines, allowing you to reach  previously unreachable areas.

After more mission completing, You reach Chapter 2. By now it is the second half of Raccoon Season, meaning Raccoon attacks will become more frequent. Miles the Mule will open a new minigame. I forgot what it's called, though. It's where you enter combat mode and blast the Raccoons with milk. After they have been stunned, you grab them and throw them out of the crop field. You have to make sure they don't leave with ten or more crops.

After more missions, The Jersey cows appear. The first time you meet them, they challenge you to a car race. Both teams use the neighbors' cars. The second time, they challenge you to a bike race. At the beginning of the game, Otis gives you his bike. You have to use this same bike in the race. You race around the farm, starting from the barn all the way up to Ben's Hill. The third time you meet them, they challenge you to a bike race rematch. Only differences: The Jersey cows have bought the speed and stamina basic upgrade (you can upgrade your bike too.). You also race around Mr. and Mrs. Beady's Farm, then through the forest, and finally through a ravine serving as the "back door" to the barnyard.

One mission in the game is where you go inside Freddie's Dream World. Freddie is having nightmares about evil versions of himself eating live chickens. You have to blast the evil Freddies and throw him out of the barnyard.

I have not gotten past this mission, and is where my experience in the game ends. But the Wiki-Barn says that once you complete all the missions, you get to fight Dag. Surprisingly, Dag is mentioned by name only once out of the whole game: on a note taped to a tree. You see, Otis and the other Cows have seen and learned things. They wrote down everything they know on notes and taped the notes to random trees and fences for younger cows to find and read. 

 In the TV show Back at the Barnyard, Otis, Otis' new girlfriend Abby, Freddie, Peck, Pig, Pip, and Bessie (Abby's best friend) go on adventures often started by mistakes, somebody's greed, or something completely weird.

Here is a list of characters that appeared in the movie, video game and/or TV show.
  • Otis - A fun loving cow. He has udders, which, in real life, is biologically impossible. Otis loves his friends, but in some of the TV show episodes, Otis becomes consumed by greed. When his step father, Ben, died, he was elected as his successor. Sometimes, the events that happen in the show are Otis' fault.
  • Abby - Otis' girlfriend. She is a cow that has a Southern accent. She tends to say the word "huge" frequently. Most notably when Otis and friends went Christmas shopping. She said the the shopping list is huge. The episode "Cupig" reveals that her stall (which is like a cow's bedroom) is filled with blonde hair dye, and that her blonde ponytail is dyed, thus her hair is NOT naturally blonde.
  • Pig - a pig that is a skilled chef. The video game revealed that he has at least 50 food recipes, and at least 50 cocktail recipes. As that's how collectable recipes there are in the game. He is a major believer in Bigfoot, Fairies, Pixies, Leprechauns, Elves, and about five hundred other mythical creatures.
  • Freddie - a ferret that has a disturbing craving to eat Peck, who is his best friend. Sometimes he manages to resists this urge. Other times he tells everybody either a lie or an excuse to eat Peck. He also believes everything you tell him. Like the time Otis made fake crop circles in the corn fields and told everybody that aliens are going to abduct them and eat their brains. Even though it was a childish prank, Freddie actually thought that aliens WERE coming. It took him about a whole year for him to forget about that prank.
  • Peck - a skinny rooster with a skin problem. He is incredibly smart, as he is a teacher that educates the barnyard children. Freddie has a disturbing craving to eat Peck. A running gag in the show is that something painful would happen to him. Example: Otis landed right on top of him, crushing almost every bone is his body. Or the time he enter the Barnyard games. He got crushed ten times by a meteor.
  • Bessie - Abby and Daisy's best friend. Bessie is probably the oldest cow since Ben's death. She is sarcastic, rude, and insulting to everyone except Abby and Daisy. When the Barn becomes haunted, Bessie reveals that she has a great deal of knowledge about ghosts.
  Just a reminder, Barnyard is awesome. If you want to find out more, please go to Wiki Barn, the Barnyard Wiki!

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